Things Joe Is Wrong About

(An incomplete work in progress.)

• Lasagna
• “Gwyneth [Paltrow] is good”
• Bill Murray
• Mayo
• “I hate Beyoncé”
• The rat at the end of The Departed is “great” and “a classic [S]corsese decision”
• “I don't like pets”
• “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if every dog in the world died, my life would not be changed in any way”
• “in n out is bad”
• “white chocolate is the best kind of chocolate”
• “Guinness sucks ass”
• “The green, slimy gutter trash known as” avocados
• “I’m now pro-salad”
• The Last Jedi was “probably the 3rd best blockbuster franchise film of the past 20 years”
• “S’mores are fucking garbage”
• Believes his allergies make him a “protected class”
• Forrest Gump
• Has “solidarity” with people who cook/microwave seafood at work
• “I’m pretty allergic to carrots”
• Deadpool
• Thinks peanut butter and tomato sandwiches are good
• “[I’m] not a huge chocolate fan”
• “la croix is bad”
• Vacationing in Europe
• Chicago-style “pizza”
• Dieting
• Eats burgers with mayo, ketchup, and mustard combined
• The Black Keys are “the Greta Van Fleet of blues rock”
• “History will prove me right”
• “I don't think I like cake very much”
• Jello shots
• “Wendy's has the best fast food burger”
• “5 [G]uys is absolute garbage”
• “Chic fila [sic] is only good for their breakfast”
• “Dinosaurs never existed”
• “pumpkin bread stinks”
• Prefers “heart healthy beer” (Miller Lite) to good beer
• The Last Jedi's casino planet (which he calls “Canto Bite”) “was fucking cool!”
• “Fireworks suck.”
• “skin-on fries are the best”
• Ryan Reynolds
• “Flip Flops are bad”
• Claims “the best Beatles song” is While My Guitar Gently Weeps
• “Real maple syrup is bad”
• “RANCH IS GOOD!”
• “MASHED POTATOES SUCK”
• Ricotta
• “[I] absolutely hate paul scheer”
• “my opinions are good and i’m good”

Things Joe is Right About

(Comprehensive.)

• Nic Cage
• Beth
• Max
• Popeyes
• I-66
• Chance the Rapper
• Mr. Peanutbutter
• Has argued that Belle should have chosen Gaston “for no joke, 8 years”
• Sour Skittles
• Instant Pot
• Childish Gambino’s Redbone “is still amazing”
• Sheetz
• The Great British Bake Off
• Grapefruit juice
• Anne Hathaway

Things Joe Has Been Shamed Into Being Right About

(Societal pressure gets results.)

• “Avocados are pretty good now.”
• “I'm pro cake now. I still think pie is better, but cake can be really good sometimes”
• “I think real maple syrup is good now”
• “I have recently come to like [sparkling water]”
• “I did retract my Bill Murray take”
• “I no longer think in n' out is bad, i've been converted”

Thing Joe Was Ahead Of His Time On

(This site is nothing if not accurate and fair.)

• Ryan Reynolds